Every Saturday as i head home after my really boring night shifts, there is just one thing that comes to my mind..the beauty of silence and night..The empty roads, the battalion of street lights standing together huddled in a discussion of shadows...the homeless people sleeping on every available space..the road,the footpaths,the bus shelters...the lonely dogs running around rummaging for food...and the loneliness of it all...
Its a same feeling Saturday after Saturday...As i pass through the familiar spots i and rakesh used to hang around when he was here....a sense of loneliness and the realisation of how overpowering physical distance too can be... As the cab moves towards Begumpet, past the flyover..i am reminded of the endless times I and rakesh would be caught in the crazy traffic.....as i near Lifestyle, a smile comes on my face as i remember the times when we both just went and window shopped there....
It is unbelievable but there are many places which remind me every day of Rakesh....the cab slowly crosses Shoppers Stop and i remember the first Valentine when Rakesh bought me a beautiful necklace there...Come Paradise circle and i remember the endless times when he picked me up from there to drop me in college....Patny...YMCA...the memories are endless....
And every Saturday...there is one person who keeps me company as i head home...--Rakesh...His voice keeps me company...one thing that we both have learnt over long distance is recognising even the smallest change in our voices....I might not be able to see him or he might not be able to see me..but we know...when either one of us is down...or excited...the voices give it away.... And each Saturday...Rakesh's voice keeps me company, he makes me laugh..he listens to me as i vent...soothes me...argue with me if need be...sing for me...but he is there around...omnipresent...always...
Whether it be on Saturday nights or when am working....when i pass through familiar places...such as KBR Park, Barista, Pizza Hut, Nagarjuna Circle, Central, Shilparamam...even buses bring back memories...8 A...250/49M, Secunderabad Bus stop, railway stations... the feeling is back...the memories flood me and i feel lonely and lost...i feel incomplete....And then i am again lost in the crazy world of every day existence..of work of the monotony of it all...but with that feeling of emptiness....
It's crazy...the distance between me and Rakesh..but it's something that i have learnt to cope with perhaps not too effectively....but yes...it's a challenge...and the wait is maddening..but like i tell my friends..the wait is surely worth it....
Its been almost 11 months since i have seen Rakesh...and it's going to be atleast 8 more months before i see him...add or minus a few months...but the wait continues..the journey continues for us...living in two different continents....bonded by one single thread of Love....Till then...i will live with the memories....knowing that many more memories are waiting to be made.......
