The TV Ticker says 59 hours..the clock continues to tick... the three most horrifying days of my life...of many Indians across the nation and world....the 24 hour TV coverage...the commandos...the firing..the blood..the fire..the smoke...father's crying over lost hope..a toddler orphaned on his birthday...stories of bravery and courage... mindless killing...

 What is being termed as Mumbai's 9/11, the terror attacks that began on 26/11 has left the numbed country bruised and angered...numbed thanks to the numerous blasts that took place in the last two years...jaipur..ahmedabad...bangalore..hyderabad..delhi..mumbai.. Mumbai has taken so much beating..so many scars..it's like a city with its face mutilated multiple times..with 'plastic' surgery performed over and over..but the scars r much deeper... the incident has left the otherwise come-what-may-life-moves-on Indian frozen at a spot...where are we going?what is happening?Who are these people?Why?What do they want?What was the government doing?Questions which were not asked earlier..questions for which answers were earlier not demanded..but now..people want answers..people want to believe in the power of democracy.. 

One father who lost his young son asks "was the government asleep?" I say all Indians were asleep..they were caught in a limbo...caught in their own's life...only to be rudely awaken to be told "wake up sleep time over..we are in ur homes now!" 

The gtalk status messages..and the facebook status messages are just an example of what an average person feels...of frustration..anger..helplessness..sadness and in some cases disbelief...

As the Operation at Taj Mahal comes to an end...the blame game has  begun...a game of passing the buck on to each other...and within 2 days media would have forgotten the whole thing...or maybe i should give them their due..they will discuss it in various forums..experts would be called in..editorials would be written... shots of ordinary man on road expressing his angst would be shown over and over again..juxtaposed with shots of Taj going up in flames...letters to the editor would be printed on not one two pages... but then...after a while..its forgotten..its put behind our minds..as we move ahead to 'secure' our life, as stereotypes are further created... like a colleague of mine was saying as i watched the tv... "Earlier we could identify a muslim by his beard and cap, but now they are all clean shaven and young and look like software techies," 

Every Muslim is a terrorist- a stereotype created post 9/11 rather reinforced multiple times after the 9/11 will now be cemented thanks to these mindless attacks..

and for LK Advani..looks like terrorists proved that they were above religion as they killed the brave Hemant Karkare who was tightening the noose against hindu fundamentalists...as people fight over mindless ideologies..political or religious...innocent people continue to lose their lives...jus this time it wasn't the average middle class Indian but the elitist Indian who was targetted along with foreign guests... 

I feel empty in my stomach...friends ask what can v do? Question remains..yes what can v do?Except for letting the voyeur in us take over and thanking god that someone we knew wasn't there....or for condemning the failure of the govt... at some level..we all forget that it is a government by and for us... how many of us have our names in the voter list?And at some level we feel that no leader in this country wil actually bring any change...

do we need a movement like that national movement pre-independence? can there ever be a movement of that scale ever? Does anyone have the time to do that? 

Thankfully, this time..Indians across have felt that this wasn't an attack just on mumbai but on India and India's pride...an insult to the country...thank god that even today that bit of patriotism exists..Will tightening the law help? No. Terrorism is here to stay. Islamic or Hindu fundamentalists cannot be changed..they cannot be sent to rehab..dese r young men and women who are indoctrinated..who feel that what they r doing is right... with the divide between rich and poor getting wider... with oppurtunities being unequal..with life being unfair..there is so much of angst.. 'latent angst' as friend put it... the need to drain people out of this feeling of unfairness is necessary..but then the question remains how? I wish i had the answers..but i don't and all that i have felt over these three days is anger...frustration and helplessness...anger that all parties have failed...frustration that politicians use human calamities to appease vote banks...helplessness that as a voter i don't have trust in any of the leaders...right..left... any party..all of them are the same..corrupt...manipulative...all of us are responsible for the state of the matters....to allow this terrible tragedy unfold..we don't question anymore..that i thing is the biggest problem..we need to question and demand for answers..not question and move on..No. This is not the time for us to move on. This is time for us to stop..break away from the routine of going to work...accumulating wealth...running the rat race..stop..take a deep breath..and question things around u...it's not always about fight for rights..but also for the need to fulfil one's duties... most importantly we need to trust in each other...and transcend above irrational stereotypes..above caste..religion..colour...... 

Till then, i will pray..pray that not another innocent soul lose his/her life in such mindless and crass killings...pray that people are awakened now...pray that stereotypes are broken and not made..pray that this incident remains fresh in every Indian's mind...remember that every life lost was valuable..pray that we get over this state of indifference..and pray that incidents like this bruise us and not numb us... pray that leaders don't divide this country further...pray...pray..pray.....